Making headspace a place your parts feel comfortable in is key to creating a community among yourselves and learning to heal together. Even if you don’t have a visual headspace there are still things you can do to make everyone feel comfortable.
What makes you comfortable? That’s the first question you want to ask yourself. Is it brightly lit rooms, vast outdoor spaces, dark caves to hide in? Is it as simple as a warm blanket or a special color? Whatever it is it’s important to incorporate that into your headspace, but give everyone options and a space to go in case someone doesn’t like brightly lit rooms and feels safer in the dark.
Our headspace has changed a lot over time, going from underground caves to a small town to now which is a house in the middle of the woods. Our headspace kind of changed randomly after we noticed that most of us were spending time together in the same room, so now we all have a common area to hang out in than our own upstairs bedrooms.
Changing headspace is as easy has visualizing the changes you want to see. If a kid part thinks having a blanket would make them feel more comfortable then visualize giving them a blanket. Even if you can’t see in your headworld, make it feel like you’re giving them a blanket and that can change the relationship between the two of you.
Think of things and brainstorm a list of ideas to what you’d like to have in your headworld. Then try and add those things through visualization. Making each part comfortable will only improve how you as a whole feel, though it won’t fix everything. It’s a good first step.
Below is a list of things we have for everyone in our system that may seem like basic things but can help improve their lives a lot.
- Beds for everyone, cribs for babies. Warm clean bedding.
- Clean clothes.
- Bathrooms to clean up in.
- Their own private spaces for if someone needs time alone.
- Comfy sofas or chairs for everyone to sit at.
- Toys and activities for the kids or pets.
- Food/places to cook.
- Safe housing.
- TVs, computers, books, games.
- An outdoor area to explore safely/Garden.
Some of these may seem a bit silly to some people without DID/headspaces. Visualizing yourself (or another part) eating food doesn’t make real-life hunger go away but it can help rid them of any hunger memories they may have. Having clean clothes and a bathroom to clean up in aren’t a way to clean the real-life body, but a way to clean the inner bodies of parts who may have been left dirty and in rags and give them some value to themselves.
Having basic necessities in headspace can help you heal from the trauma of past neglect. Of course, never think these are ways to substitute therapy. A trained therapist can help you in so many other ways that you couldn’t help yourself. These are ways though that with therapy can help push you closer to the end goal of healing.