Looping is what I call getting a song or thought stuck in your head so that it plays on repeat. I’m sure that’s normal for people whether or not they’re trauma survivors. Looping in my mind though means having the song be there on purpose not just randomly.
In our system, we call it the radio. Usually, Kenny is in control of the radio. He’ll use it to cheer us up, with some kind of jokey song if he feels that would help us.
Currently, I have one of my Blanket Songs looping in my head. A blanket song is a song with fairly low BPM and kind of a chill vibe to it. I call them blanket songs because they make me feel like I’m wrapped in a comfortable blanket. Despite the subject matter of the song (though they’re usually pretty sad songs), they make me feel comfortable and safe.
Sometimes the world just moves too fast for me. I say sometimes, but usually, the world is moving too quickly for me to handle. It makes me anxious and aggravated. Blanket songs help me chill out a little bit and feel better.
Having them loop in my head keeps me regulated.
I don’t know if this is maybe a sensory thing because I have other sensory issues as well. Especially when fronting alone or just with Axel. I have to front with Kenny or I’m just a mess in progress.
My skin is just always on fire and feels like I’m wearing a rubber suit over it. I’m always uncomfortable but I enjoy fronting to an extent.
I could share my blanket songs if anyone is interested!