This past therapy session, I talked to my therapist about some things that had been going on in headworld between parts where there was a little bit of tension. Her advice was minimal, but one thing she said really impacted us positively.
She brought up something about us parts all being allies with one another. Though we may not always agree with one another, we’re a family that’s stuck with one another for better or worse.
I know the family feeling isn’t always true feeling for every system out there but I feel like it’s something healthy to strive to be for a lot of systems. Not even being a “family” but being allies with one another.
Recently, we’ve had this notion of fighting to give the body a life it deserves. We’ve been trying to “glow up” as the kids say (haha). Learning a language we’ve always wanted to learn (Japanese), journaling often to try and keep memories, eating healthier but also not trying to focus too hard on just looks.
We all say we’re doing it for who we figure is the original part to us all, Flower, who is a baby who stays with Adam, Roo, and Joji. Trying to work towards one goal, no matter how vague, is good for everyone. Having something to rally behind can really bring a group of people together.
Just think about protests, all these random strangers are gathered to rally for one cause. Even if your system (or if you’re a singlet this can work too) just says “Hey, I’m going to fight because it will be a big middle finger to my abuser(s)” then it can really bring you together. Plus the boost of having something to fight for is very useful in down moments.
It can work for anything really. I think the only reason we’re learning a language (though we’ve taken a small break) is because Lolly (a fellow system mate) was interested in learning it once way back when! Having something you can all agree upon to work towards is great.
Spite. I think spite can be a great motivator too!
Do you have anything that really brings your system together as a big group? Something you all agree on?